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Lighthearted Mentorship in the Legal Profession

Matthew Frey wears a suit as he smiles for a portrait
Matthew Frey

This is an article celebrating an unsung but surprisingly effective form of attorney mentoring: pithy proverbs of the profession.

Not as impactful as a ‘war story,’ but more memorable than mere advice. Adages about the practice of law can impart more insight and retainable wisdom to the listener than studying the densest treatise on professional responsibility.  

What’s the secret, you ask? Their brevity? Their authenticity? Their irreverence? Yes.

I have been fortunate enough to interact with many personalities of the bench and bar over the years. Little did those people know that many of them would become unofficial mentors of mine through their simple acts of sharing a lesson they learned about the practice of law in a style that amused me and that I can easily recall. I pass along some of those memorable remarks to you now, in no particular order, so that you, too, may be able to absorb their principles for the betterment of you and the profession- or at least chuckle a little:

Matt: “I think I messed something up. Badly.” Mentor: “That’s ok. That’s why they call it the practice of law.”
Mentor: “Best day of my life is when I stopped practicing family law.” Matt: “What about your wedding day? Birth of your kids?” Mentor: “No.”
Mentor: “Many South Florida lawyers interpret ‘zealous advocacy’ as giving them a duty to make your life miserable.”
Matt: “I need your advice.” Mentor: “Don’t do it.”
Matt: “There is just no pleasing this client.” Mentor: “You need to give them the ‘Three Options.’ You tell them you can work fast, cheap, and good. But they can only pick two of those at any one time.”
Matt: “I can’t believe the parties are fighting about this. They should really just talk this out.” Mentor: “They need to feel the cost of what they’re requesting to put it in perspective. We call that ‘Fee Therapy.’”
Mentor: “Do not believe nor agree to represent any client that tells you that they’re there ‘for the principle of the matter.’”
Mentor: “If there’s a choice, always appear in person. Don’t make it easy to be ignored.”
Matt: “That was such a bad ruling. I can’t believe it.” Mentor: “It happens. It’s a legal system. Not always a justice system.”

These little dialogues and witticisms among lawyers about the profession are everywhere and they demonstrate to me that legal mentorship is alive and well, even though the format may sometimes surprise you. Mentorship does not always have to have a rigid formality to it.  Most lawyers don’t even realize the positive impact they are having on their peers by simply acknowledging that they too have had to navigate a similar difficult experience in their own practice – to the point that they have even developed or received a memorable phrase of advice as to said experience. In my opinion, the passing along of these professional truisms among friends and colleagues helps remind us all that the legal community is much more of a team sport than we give it credit for.

If you have your own great lessons and experiences on the profession, I encourage you to share them! There are great programs and opportunities offered through The Florida Bar to help provide your insight to the next generation:

  • Counsel to Counsel: A mentoring program pairing new lawyers with more seasoned practitioners,

  • Lawyers Advising Lawyers: A service advising on specific areas of law and procedure, and

  • Decorum.law: a library of accessible and free resources to maintain the highest ideals of professional legal practices at every stage of a lawyer’s career.

There are also local bar associations and members in your area who could benefit from your experience as well. Making a positive impact on the profession and the lawyers you work with is easier than you think and probably more enjoyable than you expect. As the saying goes: “we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

 

Matthew Frey is a native Floridian who grew up in Orlando, attended undergraduate at George Washington University, and obtained his juris doctor from the University of Florida. He is proud to be working with the same small law firm in Tavares, Florida since he graduated, practicing a variety of civil law, bankruptcy, and real estate litigation. It is his first year on The Florida Bar’s Professionalism Committee, but hopefully not the first year he has acted with professionalism. He is a big believer in solving people’s problems, not acting like a jerk, and providing pro bono services – because that’s why we all got into the profession in the first place.

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